Spring is a time for change and metamorphosis.

As the weather changes and warmth approaches, it’s the season to bloom, blossom and develop in new ways full of freshness, color and new life. Often, you may find people engaging in “spring cleaning” of their homes, but why not do so with their mental health as well?

In order to create change, I recommend starting by raising awareness of the big three – avoidance, acceptance and accountability in your life.

Sometimes it’s difficult to create new behaviors and thinking patterns to produce healthier lifestyles, but being mindful of these three elements can help pave a new foundation for growth and development.

One obstacle to produce change and something to “clean” out of your system is avoidance. We are programmed to avoid stimuli and situations that cause us to feel unpleasant emotions or discomfort, often limiting our ability to face what is troubling us head-on. It’s natural to feel the need to protect ourselves from unpleasant emotions or information by rejecting it.

The problem then becomes: how can we change a dysfunctional behavior pattern if we refuse to acknowledge what is producing it or that this behavior is unhealthy for us overall?

The key is that we stay present in the moment and reduce those tendencies to avoid what has caused us pain, discomfort, anger, etc., and refrain from or reduce time spent engaging in activities that do not benefit you as means of avoidance. Take a proactive approach, and that starts by first acknowledging how you feel and what you do to avoid it.

The second factor to consider is accountability.

Unfortunately, we cannot control what has happened to us in the past and we cannot change something that is already over. However, it is our responsibility to take accountability for our pain and our own responses to it. This means recognizing the pain you have, and raising awareness of how you have been reacting and responding to it on a day-to-day basis.

Some of us unfortunately continue to repeat unhealthy or dysfunctional behavior because it’s familiar and comfortable. This is where accountability is key – get away from feeling like a victim or being a bystander in your life, and start empowering yourself to be an active participant to improve your life. Own up to your life choices, reflect upon your own role in relationships and lay the foundation for your own personal growth and healing.

The only person who can start to heal your pain is you!

Lastly, acceptance is essential to your movement going forward in life. This means we recognize pain that we have, as well as what we can and cannot control in our lives. One concept called radical acceptance is where we develop an understanding that we have been hurt in our lives, and we may not like or approve of what happened, but we accept it as reality. Despite the misconception that time heals all wounds, some things may always hurt us in our lives.

By understanding this and accepting that our pain is there, it may help to create more adaptive responses and reactions to our pain on a day-to-day basis. As a result, we may feel more empowered to create new habits, healthier behavior and better lifestyle choices to promote well-being as we approach spring.


Diana Brda, MA, LLP is Owner/Therapist at Blackbird Counseling Center, located at 17197 N. Laurel Park Dr., (Suite 110) in Livonia. For more information, call (734) 751-2543 or visit blackbirdcounselingcenter.com.